Self Portrait

I am trapped
by the inexorable march of time...
in love with yesterday's memories
and in awe of a nebulous tomorrow.

An enigma,
by nature spuriously contrite,
still covetous of those mercurial,
impulsive days gone by.

I dissemble
each emotion, trying not to show
my perennial lust for that
which cannot be - and yet...

I am ready,
like fruit ripened on the vine,
its sweet juices straining for release,
yearning for the touch of the vintner
to bring its being into apotheosis.

I Wonder

I love the sound of your voice...
It echoes gently through my mind.
Each time I answer the phone, my choice
is that you're the one I'll find
answering my "Hello" and making my day
a little bit brighter just by being there.
I love the feel of your touch and the way
our fingertips meet and play upon the carpet where
we lay talking and discussing our dreams.
If we could but have our lives unfold
the way we would have them in our schemes,
would we then find that we could hold
onto that quality which makes our lives complete...
Or would we find it something less
than what we thought we'd meet
and find it still not quite the very best?
Perhaps happiness is only an illusion, not real,
for it changes in shape and form as our lives change...
And those emotions which today we feel
so deeply may on another day range
far from what we imagined them to be
in the beginning of our love...or...
May deepen and grow far stronger than we now see,
or ever had the courage to hope for.
Life is ever-changing and, indeed, we must
change with it if we are to endure...
Change and grow, and hope and trust
that through it all our love remains assured.

Shadow

Wayward Gods

I long for a man's arms about me.
Your arms, or any man's arms?
I know not the answer.

I only know this lust, this desire,
This need for a physical closeness
Grows within me like a cancer.

I yearn for a body to touch
To hold...and to be held...
Soft lips upon my face.

Wayward gods are we...Spirit
Bound in flesh, lonely and alone
In this crowded human race.

You

You are a totally new sensation,
A wonderful lovely celebration
Of life and love and dreams come true.
I've spent a lifetime searching for you.
Adrift on a moonbeam, afar I've wandered
Seeking the one my heart has pondered.
And now, my love, I've reached my goal
And found the one who fills my soul!

Trilogy

High in the tree a bird is singing.
Can you tell me the song he sings?
Deep in my heart your love is winging.
Can you see the joy that it brings?!

***

I need your touch. I need your smile.
It means so much. Please stay a while.
Your hand in mine, our eyes will meet.
The path will wind beneath our feet.
Two hearts together, just one beat
Lovers ever when we meet.

***

We love in a sunflower patch.
A few moments are all we can catch.
I touch your hand as you draw me near,
And slowly my cares just all disappear.
So gentle in all you do,
A warm ray of sunshine are you!

Contemplation

I love the sound of your voice.
It echoes gently through my mind.
Each time I answer the phone my choice
Is that you're the one I'll find
Answering my "Hello" and making my day
A little bit brighter just by being there.
I love the feel of your touch and the way
Our fingertips meet and play upon the carpet where
We lay talking and discussing our dreams.
If we could but have our lives unfold
The way we would have them in our schemes,
Would we then find that we could hold
Onto the quality which makes our lives complete,
Or would we find it something less
Than what we thought we'd meet
And find it still not quite the very best?
Perhaps happiness is only an illusion, not real...
For it changes in shape and form as our lives change
And those emotions which today we feel
So deeply may, on another day, range
Far from what we imagined them to be
In the beginning of our love...or...
May deepen and grow far stronger than we now see,
Or ever had the courage to hope for.
Life is ever-changing and indeed we must
Change with it if we are to endure.
I know I love you now and can only hope and trust
That all life's changes will but make our love more sure.

I've Dreamed

I have dreamed of a moment like this...

Night after night I was haunted by a vision
so real I could feel your breath, warm and
quick upon my throat, your lips soft as rose
petals upon my breast, your body lithe, smooth
and sinewy, muscles taught and strong.

I have dreamed of a moment like this...

When we would be one again, joined, in body
and soul reunited. The awesome wonder of
your love has filled my nights and left me
suddenly sleepless, the hours unending
before the dawn.

I have dreamed of a moment like this...

I may be dreaming still. Or is this fragile
fleeting moment in your arms reality...
sweet, sweet reality which passes all too soon
into the ethereal realm and into my dreams
once more?

Realization

I hoped, but didn't know ‘til now
how soft your lips would be.

I dreamed, but didn't dare to hope
for the love these eyes now see.

I asked, but never thought to have
an answer to my prayers.

I wished, but couldn't see ‘til now
how much you really cared.

I loved in secret, never knowing
your love was hidden too.

I see now many wasted years
I could have spent with you!

Come

Will I?

Why do I find you so hard to resist?
The sight of you turns my heart upside down!
Why do I long for your touch, for your kiss?
You have my mind spinning ‘round and around!
Why are my thoughts in utter confusion,
Knowing our future is only illusion?
Why do I follow wherever you lead,
Hearing my heart continue to plead...
Will I see you today? Will you be there?
Will I feel your touch and know you care?
Will my lips long for the fire of your kiss?
Will I ever say no? Will I ever resist?

I Only Wanted

I've got to keep you a memory, a vision of days long past.
I've got to erase all those thoughts of an "us" that was meant to last.
I only wanted a small part of your life, not all as you would believe...
A few hours or minutes, or whatever time you could willingly give or receive.
I wanted an "us" like it used to be, each one able to call on the other
Whenever we needed a shoulder to cry on, or the warm gentle touch of a lover.
I wanted too much I realize now, for my need was always so great.
I expected far more than you could give...I know now, but now it's too late.
I wanted to see and to hear you express the same need, the same love I was feeling.
But you couldn't show what you didn't feel, and that knowledge has sent my heart reeling!
For so many years, I nurtured a memory and dreamed of the times we had shared.
For so many years, I played the fool thinking that you really cared.
Now I see I was wrong to hold onto the past. Those days are forever behind me.
I've got to be happy as just what I am, and wherever the future may find me.

Compelled

Fantasian Rhapsody

We have created a dance of love,
orchestrated by passion,
choreographed by desire,
applauded by the sound of sweat-glistening bodies
clapping together in rhythm
to the beat of our hearts.

Heated liquid lust dripping from your brow falls,
tracing tiny rivulets upon my breast,
and is gently wiped away by your tender lips.

Entwined, we twist, and turn, and pirouette,
our oneness never broken until love's melody suddenly slows,
becomes a waltz, a respite for two souls unaccustomed to such
frenzied motion - and then - just as suddenly,
flares staccato once again...

Unwilling to end, the dance goes on,
our minds hearing the music,
our hearts matching the beat,
our lust wielding the baton!

Be Mine

Where are you? I feel you near.
Where are you? I need you here.
Come closer and touch my hand.
Come closer; please understand.
Hold me close and let me stay.
Hold me close; don't go away.
Say you care; you want me too.
Say you care; my needs are few.
Be mine alone, through joy and sorrow.
Be mine alone, through all tomorrows.

More Time

A little more time is all we need,
a little more time to share.
Time to touch your lips and run
my fingers through your hair...
Time to walk down shaded paths
or hear a willow sigh...
Time to watch the squirrels cross
the meadow where we lie.
Far beyond tomorrow we
can see and plan and scheme;
But should tomorrow never come,
we'll always have our dreams!

Windows

Somewhere within the realm of time and space,
Somewhere in dreams gone by I saw your face.
Sometimes we touch and briefly time stands still.
Sometimes your eyes say more than words e'er will.
Those unguarded windows to your soul still tell
Unguarded thoughts you meant to hide so well
.

Sometime

Sometime, somewhere, we'll meet again,
When time is not rushing in our footsteps
Like waves upon the shore.
Sometime, somewhere, we'll laugh again,
At all the funny things we used to say and do.
Sometime, somewhere, we'll love again,
Beneath the willow branches
Our hearts will beat anew.
Sometime, somewhere, we'll part again,
And go from day to lonely day once more.