(Author Unknown)

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a mate that is not a Christian? This article is written love and in hopes that it will give some insight into this type of marriage. Several aspects of life will be discussed.

One of the first things that comes to mind is worship services. Will your mate see the "need" for you to be in worship service three times a week? Will he/she say that "once a week" is enough? Various reasons for not attending could be given; you need "family time" together, there is a company event you should attend, errands must be run, company is coming over, and the list could go on and on. You, on the other hand, should realize that your place is in the worship service, and you should look forward to being with your brethren. How will you react to these "reasons" for not attending? Will he/she want you to contribute as you should?

When you are planning a vacation, will your spouse plan to go to a city that has a congregation for you to worship with? Will he/she want to travel on a Sunday or Wednesday -- what about your flight and travel arrangements?

If there is a possibility for relocation, where will your spouse transfer -- to a city where there is no congregation, or to a city where the nearest congregation is far away? Will he/she try to get you away from your brethren during this job transfer period?

Certainly, the believing spouse must let her husband/wife know that worship services are important -- whether in town or on vacation. You must let it be known that you intend to live in a city where there is a group of Christians to meet with.

What about your home life? What types of recreation will your spouse want you to participate in? What about the types of music that he/she will want to listen to? What about the types of beverages that may be in your home? What about prayer and Bible study? Will you be able to discuss spiritual things?

Will your spouse encourage you to visit/communicate with those who are sick or weak? Will you be able to provide written encouragement to your brethren? What about having Christians in your home or being able to visit other Christians socially? Will you call other Christians during the week?

What about children? If your spouse makes it difficult for you to attend worship services without children, let me guarantee it will be much worse with children! If it's hard to get one person ready for worship, it will be harder with children -- especially when they are younger. Keep in mind that you are responsible for the souls of your children. Will your spouse want the children to go to his/her "church?" If you are lucky enough to take them to church services, will he/she "tear down" everything that you are trying to teach them? What about this division in the home? Won't the children be very confused? How would you feel if your children were not faithful Christians? Personally, I couldn't live with myself if I knew that I did not bring my children up "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

Probably the biggest overall difference in your marriage is that you and your spouse will "think differently." You will have different goals. The Christian will have God in his/her mind, along with helping the brethren and teaching those who are lost. The non-Christian will be concerned about "worldly" things -- money, recreation, and the like. The Christian must consider God in decision-making. You will think differently! And, this is a major consideration in causing problems in your marriage. Think about it!

Your spouse may, over time, begin to ridicule you. And, believe me, this will "tear you down," unless you resist strongly. How will you answer the following statements?

1. "You are a devil worshipper."

2. "All you 'Christians' do is study the Bible; you do not practice what you preach."

3. "You do not need to go to church service; all you have to do is love your neighbor and help others."

4. "One church is as good as another."

5. "You only need to know what is contained in the four gospels -- the things that Jesus spoke. It is not necessary to study the rest of the Bible."

6. "There are a lot of hypocrites in 'your' church. Why do you want to associate with them?"

7. "Shouldn't your priority be to please me - your spouse? Don't I come first in your life?"

These statements of ridicule will hurt you inside and can be labeled as "emotional abuse." And, think about this -- this emotional abuse could turn into physical abuse! What if your spouse harms you in a fit of rage and when trying to keep you from doing what you should do? How are you going to react to these statements which are against your Christian lifestyle?

Will you read Romans 12:18 - ["If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men."] - and then decide to "give in" to this ridicule by your spouse? These are serious questions to think about!

It may be in your mind that you can "convert" your boyfriend or girlfriend. This is very possible. I have heard of situations where the wife was a Christian for many years. Later on in their marriage, the husband became a Christian and even became an elder or preacher! But, this is not guaranteed! Also consider this possibility -- your spouse may become a Christian and then "fall away" after a few years.

Wouldn't it just be better to date and marry a Christians in the first place? Don't you want to have someone who can help you with your Christian goals and help you go to heaven? Don't you want someone you can discuss spiritual things with? Let me tell you -- something is "missing" when you are married to a non-Christian. You aren't fully happy.

If you do marry a non-believer, you must be very cautious that it will not tear you down! Year after year, you attend worship services, you pray and study your Bible. Can you hold up?

I am not saying that you cannot be a Christian and have a non-believing spouse. But, I am saying that it is very hard. I urge you to consider dating and marrying a Christian. We sometimes sing the song, "Have You Counted The Cost?" Would it be worth it to marry a person, knowing that you could possibly be lost as a result of the marriage? Remember -- marriage is "for life" according to God's plan.

If you are currently married to a non-Christian, you are in my prayers. Make it your goal to be a better influence for good every day and to become stronger spiritually!

May God bless all of us in our married lives.

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean 'you know what the Bible means?" The son replied "I do know".  "Okay " said his father. "So son what does the Bible mean?" "That's easy Daddy, it stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth"

THE IMPORTANCE OF ONE LETTER

(Jerry Crolius)

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